In one of those years of my school life, I have come to a realisation that there is no such things as true friends (well, at least, that was i thought so during some of those times). Ever since I was in kindergarten, I have been the victim of bullies due to my huge figure. Yeah, some will think that people are scared of me but it turned out ot be the opposite way instead. Weird but true. As I started out in primary 1, I have no friends (even if I do, it just won't last) and it worsen at primary 4. I guess being lonely could make a person go simply and hold grudge and worse, insecurities. In primary 5, I thought I found a good friend, my so-called very first 'best friend', but end up, its just the same old story. Pfft.. And so this pathetic life continues till I'm out of primary school.
Maktab Sains; a new year, a new school, a new environment.... and I still had a hard time trying to fit in. I've once again become the eye of the bullies (well, not as worse as in primary). Sometimes i wonder, what have i done to get this kind of punishment . but i have no answer. I tried to change in anywhere possible but then i wonder, why must i change for them. And so, instead of trying so hard to change, I actually managed to change naturally and alhamdulilah, my presence have finally been accepted. I think. Har har.
HAHAHAHAHA.. This is actually something that I found in my computer. How weird could I be to have save this lil'diary of mine. Hahaha. Just a lil' something random to post. Weird.. I know. forgive me. =P
One thing about this is that, the feeling of insecurities, its never gone. But another thing about this is I'm grateful to have known you all as my good friends. =)
~Nudge~
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