Peterpan syndromme.

Salam.

Tomorrow marks the first of September. Which means, i have 19 more days here in Brunei. Part of me is excited to start decorating my new house in Nottingham, meeting new people, and embarking on the third year journey.

Another part of me is scared. Third year means shit just got a little bit too real now. It's going to be my dissertation year. I will not have any holidays in December, and apparently my family plus cuzzies etc etc are planning to go to Dubai. Guhhreat. Just great. And in summer, i will only have two weeks worth of holidays. Really med school, really? I just kept thinking, should i even go back for that short period of time.

I honestly do not know.

Last night i was feeling weird. Like, as if i have lost something. I kept searching for that something, and obviously to no avail, because i do not know what i was searching for. I thought maybe i was craving for something, but i really did not feel like eating, at all.

Anyways, last week, i was at my cousin's open house, and epicly, my cousin kana risik. Which means she's going to be engaged soon. It felt really weird. Considering she's one of my cousin yang dangan bemain masa damit. And now that she had got a proper job and soon to be engaged, is just weird. Because it means she's all grown up.

Which means i'm all grown up.

Sometimes i feel like Peterpan. I never want to grow up.

But growing up is inevitable, so i should welcome it, with open arms. I guess........

"We all want to grow up. We're desperate to get there. Grab all the opportunities we can to live. We're so busy trying to get out of that mess, we don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there. Really freaking cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we're standing there alone" - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy.

A hint of vanilla.

Salam Ramadhan the 11th :)

Today, I was showing my dad the souvenirs i bought from Turkey. While helping my mom put them in the display almari, i opened the bottom drawer, and there I found my old book, "Thanks for the memory". I don't remember if I've ever gotten to finish it. I think I did. It's basically about a guy who was afraid to donate blood cos he was sooo afraid of needle, and then, one day, his blood saved a person, and from there the story went.

I've always wanted to donate blood. But last time I remembered, I was too young to do so. And now that i am old enough, I can't because I just found out that i'm anemic. So untuk org yang masih mampu untuk menderma darah, i urge you to donate blood, not only because it will help someone, at the same time, you can get your blood checked for any abnormalities as well! So DOUBLE WIN! :D

Back to the old book i found. I saw it, and it brought back nostalgic memories. Sama macam the title. Terima kasih di atas memori ini. Ironic. Like iron man ironing. I kept trying to find what memory was in store for me while i was reading it back then. But i could not find any. Must have been something insignificant, or maybe something too significant and hurt too much that I forced myself to not remember it. At all.

Ho wells. Who cares about the past.... kan....? They say move on.. but where do i go? Eyah lagu Katy Perry. Oh well, since i can't even remember it, im sure it's something insignificant.

Moving on....

Old books, i love your smell. I was googling what makes old books smells sooooooo soo good! (in my opinion lah they smell good!) Rupanya, it's because, old books release volatile stuff used in the production of the books, and ada a little hint of vanilla thats why it smells nice.

VIDEO HERE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInTfrDnA&feature=player_embedded

Hmm.. somehow this post does not say what i really want to say. I guess sometimes whatever you structured in your head can't be penned down/typed down. Creatively. Or maybe aku kali saja yang kurang kreatif. Kesedihan yang teramat kalau itu macam.

And i stumbled across this article from Thought catalog and i quote:

"Change is gradual. Change doesn’t happen with a new pair of jeans or moving to a different city. It comes from within. Our generation has no real markers for where we should be. We get there when we get there. The answers are less obvious and clear. All you can really hope for is that you survive with your self-respect intact. In the meantime, just enjoy the ride.

And if you feel nauseous at any time, feel free to throw up."

I guess it is really okay to be paning and muntah if things go wrong. Hahaha.



Lots and lots of love,
Piping! Mwahhhhs!