As if i have never left.

Less than a week to go, and soon, i am going to leave for UK.

It's going to be my 4th year in UK... and honestly, this leaving gets worse. Every year, always, i dread it. That feeling at the airport when everyone else starts crying and you start breaking down too, knowing it's going to be another year till you see these amazing faces, making inside jokes, creating memories.

Bukan nya nda mahu bersyukur, amatlah bersyukur dianugerahkan scholarship, hanya Allah yang tahu. But every year, nephews and nieces grow older, siblings and cousins grow wiser, and I am not there, to see all of that. All achievements, seen through pictures, and facebook. And in summer, it's so hard to see everyone, catch up and share the stories of one whole year, or if you have not seen the person the previous year, two whole years worth of stories to catch up.

Sometimes the stories are forgotten, and in the end, left with no more stories to tell.

Going back to UK to continue my second year, really....? It's like I never left.

DEFINE BEAUTIFUL

	Beautiful is a woman who has a distinctive personality, one who can laugh at anything, including themselves, who is especially kind and caring to others. She is a woman who above all else knows the value of having fun, and not taking life too seriously. She is a woman that you can trust and count on to brighten your day. She is a woman who can inexplicably make you feel really good just by being around her, and yet brings such great sadness when she is gone. She is a woman who I will never really get to know. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beautiful

Allergy.. please go away and never come back.

Salam :)

4th raya today.... How's your purse going? Semakin berisi with angpau? TEHEEEE :p well for me, we haven't raya much. Lagipun i'm BASAR sudah. both badan and age wise. HAISH. so people hesitate to give meeeee. Beri sad one.

And my allergy is getting worse. SO i was talking to my brother, complaining how the allergy's fine in the morning but gradually getting worse throughout the day. Sekali the doctor said it's photosensitive and stress related, meaning i cant expose myself too much to the sun. Feeling like a vampire, an ugly one perhaps HOHO. and stress related, but the thing is i didn't expose my self to the sun, nor am i stress.

So i concluded that it might be due to the food i ate. Sekali i said to my brother, "What did I eat ah? Let's narrow it down...." And my brother.... "*cricket-cricket* The thing is... You eat everything. Payah jua kan dinarrow down tu"

HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAH OMG.

well.... it's true. I eat everything, especially time puasa ani. I think im allergic to raya cakes, pasal it contains a lot of eggs. But i always eat eggs. and im fine. and for udang, kerang and lukan, i eat them time puasa and i was super okay. So mcm..... Apatah ni.

Unknown tah banar.

Sometimes I wish I know the answer.

But oh well. Let's just pray it will lessen. Amin! I have high hopes ni! AMIN YA RABB!

Syawal fever.

Firstly, now that ramadan has ended.... Time to welcome a new month :)

Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin everyone! Minta maaf if ada terkasar bahasa, ter-annoy sana sini.. I know aku always beulah and gauk-gauk and perasan ciyotz (yang membari kamu trauma berabis TEHEE) but nevertheless, I hope you guys will have an awesome and fabulous eid celebration, di samping keluarga tersayang.. :) For those yang go back UK, use the time wisely.. Psl krg we nyasal-nyasal and ter-rindu-rindu and thinking why on earth we didn't use the time wisely. SO EAT MASSIVE AMT OF TAPAK KUDAS (or gajahs LOLs) and ketupat and charging camera supaya gmbr bnyk2 and langgar open houses etc.

Speaking of charging camera, I bought a new one WOOOHOOOO. I am so happy. it's a pink one, so now i am going to resume back to my not-so-amazing photography skilllzzzzzz :p If we meet next time, i will try my best untuk take loadsa pictures! SO MESTI LAWA-LAWA KAYSS :p

Speaking of raya, masa mid month of ramadan, my mother got kad raya. Sekali I was very jealous. I kept thinking, aku mahu jua kad raya. Yang written with love, and long longggggg message. And then on raya itself, you know how few years back, we always receive msgs on the night esok nya raya. Sekali mcm dst always jam apa psl a lot of ppl send msgs walaupun kdg2 it's teh same pantun used every single year LOL but really, mcm it's a competition who dapat the most texts msgs regarding raya!

Tapi this year... mcm nda bnyk msgs. Less than ten i think. Is it because I've spent most of raya outside Brunei and that people have lost my contact number over years wen they change their phone, ataupun the modernisation of having facbook & twitter ataupun ppl just malas to spend their credit... HAHAHAHHAHA it really makes me think yknow.

Sekali. How over the years, the joy of having raya lessens. I guess that's the price we have to pay for growing up.

But for now, enjoy raya as it is. Meet relatives. Eat good Brunei food. And try to have fun. Hopefully there'll be no regrets when Syawal is over, amin. :)



xxx