Everyone just go loco this time of year.

Salam everyone :)

Amazing time mostly with them Nazihah, Maning and Khairi and some other terrific people as well in Londres. But every good time has got to end right? Now it's all back to reality. Five freaking exams in January. I am scared. Who wouldn't be?

But then again. Indakan belajar saja all the time. GILA PULANG KARANG. sikit-sikit "apatah pelajaran mu?" GILA KRG. sadang-sadang. hidup ani banyak lagi yang kan di-achieve. Pelajaran penting i know, but happiness and not turning crazy pun penting.

And I hate it if people say they'll contact you. and they never do. Then what's the point? Hopes just get crushed. You ended up not sleeping... and waited .... for ages. and their text/calls just never come.

I think i've gone loco. Forgive me, my girls :/

<3
Piping

It's fuhhreezing!

Salam everyone!

Finally... most of the uni here in UK start cuti.. Here i am typing my uninteresting update. I am going to London to meet them girlies (apart from Ekin cos she's going somewhere!) and Khairi and everyone else!! Kennot wait <3 I was suppose to be in the netball winter game tournament but due to some reason, my team pulled out. But it's okayyy. MAY THE BEST TEAM WINS! (:

Kami planning kan ke winter wonderland-ing. AHHH. i'm gonna die ahh laik dis. HAHA. cos it's soo sajuk. and krg masa naik rolla coster time di langit, sajuk. BRRRRRR.

Apparently it's snowing in London! Aku tau aku suka snow like berabis rabis but this time, aku nda mau. Cos im gonna use the normal shoes and it's licin! >.<

And i wanna play poker. and laugh a lot. and chill at some fancy cafe. take thousands of pictures.

Purely.. just wanna have fun! HEEEE!

Bah Brunei Hall.... HERE I COME! :)

muchas love,
Piping

the morning of 6th dec 2010

I miss MS

Not just because it's our school

Not just because it's a place we needed to go to

Not just because it's in Brunei

But because we wanted to.

Because we were all there

Together

Mau balik.

Jatul

Pieces of me ;)

Salam everyoneee.. :D

Imagine if tani masih sekulah, the teacher will write down the date for today. And guess what date it is?

*drummrolls*

The 24th OF NOVEMBER!! :D <3

To our dearest Dalilah Nabilah, selamat ulang tahunnn, semoga dalam lindungan Allah sentiasa. It's my third year of not celebrating your birthday together. SIGH. Nevertheless, i'm sure you will have fun with them Bruneians on this very special day of yours.. celebrate it ala-ala teh tarik special~ HAHAH LAMEEE!! I wish you all the best in life, in health and segalanya lah. Amin. <3

Heniwayss... Moving on...... :)

Last week was the busiet week evur. Like banar banar sibuk. Ada saja keraja. But all went well. Takbir raya at our hosue.. wahh sayunya.. It felt like home, wel.. slightly lah. :( but mesti kuatkan hati. And then last week Saturday ada majlis aidiladha.. and kami serumah perform lagu LOVE STORY by TAYLOR SWIFT. Check it out on facebook. I posted it up! :)

I havent been feeling well lately. I had like a massive allergic reaction on Monday and that wasnt the best sensation (obviously!). All my housemates ada panic attack slajur. Thank God for our hero. Kalau nada, entah.. nda tau what to do.

And a lot of things happened sebenrnayaaaa. But i guess it's just too public to say.

Soooo.. tata! =P

Loveee,
Piping

I've found my way

In one of those years of my school life, I have come to a realisation that there is no such things as true friends (well, at least, that was i thought so during some of those times). Ever since I was in kindergarten, I have been the victim of bullies due to my huge figure. Yeah, some will think that people are scared of me but it turned out ot be the opposite way instead. Weird but true. As I started out in primary 1, I have no friends (even if I do, it just won't last) and it worsen at primary 4. I guess being lonely could make a person go simply and hold grudge and worse, insecurities. In primary 5, I thought I found a good friend, my so-called very first 'best friend', but end up, its just the same old story. Pfft.. And so this pathetic life continues till I'm out of primary school.

Maktab Sains; a new year, a new school, a new environment.... and I still had a hard time trying to fit in. I've once again become the eye of the bullies (well, not as worse as in primary). Sometimes i wonder, what have i done to get this kind of punishment . but i have no answer. I tried to change in anywhere possible but then i wonder, why must i change for them. And so, instead of trying so hard to change, I actually managed to change naturally and alhamdulilah, my presence have finally been accepted. I think. Har har.

Being left out really feels bad. It stings and it hurts so badly. But what the heck., life goes on. We still have to move on right..? And so you’ve read my uninteresting life story over the past years..

HAHAHAHAHA.. This is actually something that I found in my computer. How weird could I be to have save this lil'diary of mine. Hahaha. Just a lil' something random to post. Weird.. I know. forgive me. =P

One thing about this is that, the feeling of insecurities, its never gone. But another thing about this is I'm grateful to have known you all as my good friends. =)

~Nudge~

One way or another

'



Just a few old and new pictures to remind us how far we've been through thoughout the years. The goods and bads, the ups and downs, the dramas.. In the end, we're still together and hope it will stay till the end. :) <3 br="">
Sorry title nya nda ngam sama contentnya. hahaha

More to come after I sort out everything. Which is after my exams. Till then..
~Nudge~

Sometimes~

Sometimes you feel lonely..
Sometimes you feel sad..
Sometimes the world seems so quiet...
Sometimes you're afraid..
Sometimes you keep on hiding,
Sometimes you're running away...
Sometimes you are lost..
Sometimes you are weak..
Sometimes you cry..
But most of the time..
All you need is....
Someone that will be there to company you...
To cheer you up...
Keep your world alive...
Make you secure...
Show you the meaning of life...
Stop you from running away..
Inspire you...
Give you strength..
Comfort you..
And appreciate you every single day..


Thank You FnV..for every support that you guys gave me..and the happy and sad moments that we went throught together...I will appreciate one of each of you guys for the rest of my life..

<3 Iqin

Robin Hood :)

Salam everyone.

Just some pictures really when we visited the Nottingham Castle, taken from Chia Yi's, so thank you photographer! HEHEHHE.


My picture with my housemates.. GO US! HEHE yes kami suka begambar wah, so, you've got a problem with that? :P


Basically ada music yang mcm legend berabis lah.. & im sure u guys tau jua! and then kami menari tarian tradisional brunei, in front of those gazillion people. Membagi malu pulang banarnya HAHAH but it was FUN! (Left to right: Me, Raihan, Farah)


Trying to climb the castle's wall.. but obviously fail. HAHAHHA


Raihan and I kan menyubuk apa statue atu baca... HAHAHHAHAH :p


The Robin Hood statue! :D

I'll post some other pictures if anything happens.. Okay? I know this is like a one sided thing as i'm the only one who's active. But I quite enjoy doing this jua.. so yeah. Cant wait to see you guys (di UK) soon! :)

Giving up is not an option.

Salam everyone. :)

It's Novembre the 3rd now. Everything is going so fast and it feels like we're racing against time. Most of the trees have changed colours now, some are already bald, if you know what i mean. I guess everything changes without you wanting them too. I guess that's just crucial, in life.

henyyywayyyy last weekend I went to Leeds for BMT tournament and played netball, and teruk lah kami kana belasah. Tapinya to be honest, dont really care, and so did the rest of the team mates. Mcm.. all we want to do is just try and win it at the same time try to have fun. Most of us were first years so mcm less chemistry compared to other groups who have been playign for three or four years together! But yang calinya kami begambar mcm org manang.. HAHAHAHA <3 i love them!

And the day after that we went to visit Robin Hood Castle. Siuk ber-vaining HEHEHHE. Pics up on facebook so just browse thru them, oteyyy? :P

Today GP practice & im enjoying it berry berry muchoooo :D and and.. I had my first interview with real patient today. It didnt go too good, but all I can say is there's always hope.


Source: leilockheart

Never give up!

<3
Piping

We were all once a kid.

Salam everyone. :)

October is gonna end soon.. And i haven't even fully explored Nottingham yet! D: But nda papa, focus on studying first, then cuti baru tah enjoy heheh. This is one of the less intense week, but next week & next next week intense.. and one day ada lecture for seven hours. ARGH. die die die. But nevertheless, mesti stay strong, i guess.

This weekend, we have BMT (Bruleeds Mini Tournament) and im involved in the netball game. Wish me luck! Semoga kami manang. AMIN! Tho payah plggg. But i guess just play for fun? HEHE. And the next day will be Robin Hood Castle paegant thingyyy, yang Brunotts organised for all Bruneians. YAY! I kennot waitttttt. I need to unwind.

I know pulang i went to Leicester sudah masa last week. HAHA but i mean, come on, people need to unwind... AGAIN! :p

here are some pics.. not much, cos too lazy Courtesy of Farhan Murni :)




One of the pic, Erwan Izzah & I di arah this beautiful pathway in Leicester :) And the other one,masa kami hogging singstar di rumah si Sabri. HEHHE tengkiu Sabri & ze housematessss! :D

None of you guys blog anymore. Should i stop then? Hm....

<3 all the way from Notts,
Piping

For a moment like this, some ppl wait a lifetime.

Just feel like typing things out before going to bed. :p I should be sleeping, six hours lecture tmrw! O.O

Anyway this weekend... a lot of ups and downs. Which somehow perked me up. HAHA weird me. Free WHOLE day friday, WHOOP WHOPPPPP! but then macam-macam berlaku. And malam, I locked myself outta my room. Pasal somehow bilikku terkunci magically cos ada this weirdo guy yang knocked too loudly on the door and kami takut and panic cos kami pikir ia org jahat! and turned out he was... the delivery man.

and pasal ia.. pintu ku tekunci. D:

and all i had with me was a dying phone. and my liquid eyeliner. GREAT kan :)

and i havent even changed from my pjs since pagi cos since it's free whole day! and my glasses inside the room. so practically BUTA. and texted the landlady but ia reply smtng psl JEWS and "we need to speaks" antah bida inglish nya! mabuk kali D:

Slept in Dilah's room. YAY! and the next day ada netball session. and YES, buta nda nampak, plus silau-silau, makin nda nampak. and baju and seluar and stukin and tudung minta simpati housemates ku! and yes, moisturizer too! HOW KASIAN! HAHHAHAH!

and then ptg ada freshers' gathering.. banyak drama! but malas taip cos it's just not good.

Sunday, my housemates and I decided to stay in. Diam brabis rumah HAHAHAH. weird lah. No normal spongebob punya suara (cos my housemate is in love with that cartoon!) and malam went cali~ food delivery. and nyanyi2 sambil main piano.

I'm just great i'm so blessed.

Thank you Ya Allah.

OFFICIALLY MISSING FnV...:ssss
LOVE YOU MY DEAR GIRLFRIENDS..:)

We all are dynamite ;)

She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens.
She smiles when she feels like screaming and she sings when she feels like crying.
She cries when she's happy & laughs when she's afraid.
Her love is unconditional.
There's only one thing wrong with her, she forgets what...she's worth!
I...love you girl...pass this to e......very... woman you know, remind her she's unique.

hope this cheers u all up! :)

xxxxxx

Overrated jua mencari post title ani! D:

Assalamualaikum.

Anyway, i thought we decided to liven up this blog.. But seems like i'm the one yang keep on updating? Hmmmm. Help me people! :p

Just thought i should share this with kamu. Just a little reminder. Now that we are pursuing our own paths, with new environment, a small fish going into the ocean, that's why mesti KEEP SWIMIING KEEP SWIMMING hahahha (yeah i know payah considering i can't swim. but you catch my drift! :p)

Semoga segala-galanya berjalan dengan lancar. Amin!

And lastly, JANGAN MENYERAH! <3

Summer

Assalamualaikum.

The summer holidays are coming to an end. And personally, I really enjoyed it. I'm speechless, it's unspeakable, beyond words. I'm gonna miss Brunei, my family, friends, etc. Sometimes I wish I could stay longer, but i hafta go back, sadly.

"Menuntut ilmu itu biar sampai ke negeri China"

and finally..

"When I’m with you, I act different. In a good way. I smile more and laugh more. I don’t have to pretend everything is okay when it’s really not. With you, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I don’t feel hurt and alone when I’m with you. Instead, I feel safe and loved. You’re easy to talk to, and you listen to me. I don’t have to worry about holding back with you. I don’t feel self conscious. I don’t ever feel insecure or sad. you show me that you really do care, and you’re not just pretending. I really appreciate your company, because with you I’m different. With you, I’m happy."


Source: noelledc

We all hope it would be awesome :)

Source: iheart-photos

Assalamualaikum everyoneee :) It's the middle of september now, and half of FnVs are leaving for the UK. Walaupun raya right now, that does not stop everyone from having open houses, and beraya, which i am so far very much enjoying every single moments! On the 14th of Sept, Ekin left for Edinburgh, Scotland and i hope she is coping well with the weather! :p

And today, the ones yang i know leaving: Nazihah Pongy, Sadin, Khairi, and Edmond. Will be going to the airport later to send them off, and after that going to Hajah's for her Raya BBQ and I will be wearing baju kurong... And you know, Farhan cakap "kau BK?" like.. who the heck types BK as baju kurong? MANATAH KU TAU APA ERTINYA. That's like saying HB when you meant HAPPY BIRTHDAY. GOSH. HAHAHHA sorry random ramblings!

And to those yang stay di Brunei and for Pikah yang di Spore, inda papa.. We will see each other during summer next year. Yang penting, ikhlas untuk belajar, cekalkan hati. We all can do it!

Anywayy I'm sure the scholars yang baru and soon-to-be belayar will be OKAY, but like the picture that i posted, i hope it would be AWESOME! Same goes to the rest! HEHEHHE <3

Lots of love, and cupids flying around with his/her bows,
Piping kamu :D

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

First of all!! wow!!! are we gona start blogging agen??? Im super duper HAPPY!!! waah! sorrry aaah bimbo ku keluar tia nie coz aku iski... aiii this is FUUUNNNN!!! =) hahahaahah =D

Owkaaaay i wana story story bout my first day raya in spore.. malam raya, last sungkai me and otha bruneians go out and go sungkai togetha.. it was arh this indonesian restaurant, n i ate mkn ayam bakar!! =D it was yummy and im sssooo HUNGRY!! 30mins bfore azan, my parents called from miri.. i talked to them, they asked me whether dah sungkai or not, bt i ans blum.. den i cried!! since i miss them badly and then i talked to my dad, mom, abg and all my cousins.. they sed to me 'fyqa, everyone is here xcept for you.. what are you gona do 1st day raya and mkn apa?' i cried agen and agen.. oh god~~~so sed, hearing their voices and laughter, bah udah nda jadi LAPAR!!! den azan, our conversation stop as i hv to eat.. bt no appetite lgi.. then afta azan ada takbir berkumandang di radio, infront of all, di restaurant spore aku menangis!!!! aduyy~~~ hearing takbir, i jz cnt take it.. sooo sayu, so sad beraya without famly bsides me..

My first day raya i went out with all the bruneians, firstly we went to ORCHARD!!! wow!! what a high standard place for raya =) we went to Brunei High Comm togetha and there we met a lot of otha bruneians.. for a while i felt im in Brunei.. glad to hear it! den we went raya to all our frens house using hey PUBLIC TRANSPORT!! it was my firstym raya with taxis, mrt and buses!!! nda pernah2 waaah.. slalunya pkai kreta.. and i think now i noe how the models feels wearing high heels smpai sakit kaki.. hahahaah! bt nevertheless i still look gorgeous! AHAA =D we went all over spore from north, east, south and west!! it was tiring bt fun mencari rmh2 org.. and aldo kmi aga 5houses sja, we gt a lot of angpau... minimum angpau here 5bucks babe HAHAAH siukkk waaah.. eveywhere we go, makan sja.. bt as usual, my body still maintain.. aldo i gain weight, bt physically i still looks the SAME!! hahah Ouuuh and btw i also spent my first day raya main arh arcade!! pkai baju kurung and high heels yaw!! i played car race, and basketball with my heels HAHA it was fun!! and for closing of first day raya, what we did is watch movie, THE HOLE!!!!

More pictures can be seen at my facebook!!! <3
Love you all, happy hari ray!! cnt wait to see kamuuuuu semua!! =)


xoxo
Fyqa

Happy Eid everyone! :)

Assalamualaikum everyone. Sucha dramatic inside news for raya this year, but finally, setelah sekian lama not celebrating raya on the moon sighting day, it's raya this year! WHOOP WHOOOPPP :D Congrats to teropong Tutong and Belait (sorry Brunei Muara, bukannya kan overthrow kamu ni HEHE) but YAY it's raya.. :D <3

Felt slightly emotional. Jumped up and down after watching RTB raya announcement! I haven't celebrated raya in brunei for TWO years sudah. Now that i am here, i feel so blessed. Ya Allah, bless me, my family and friends this Syawal, amin! :)

I really miss all this memanyap rumah, bunyi badil (eventhough i don't agree to them playing it during azan!), the suspense of waiting the RTB announcements, the open houses, going to rumah nini and having photoshoots with all the cousins with super baju lawa HEHEH (tho this year baju inda siap, blame the amoi!), ANGPAU $_$ HEHE, drama raya arah RIA, ETC.

So here i am, wishing everyone a very warm Eid celebration.. Minta maaf, zahir & batin, if aku accidentally terckp "egeuguw" or buat salah time ber-cali-cali and annoy kamu with my baby talks (showie, vavy, ETC) and hope your raya will be filled with love and happiness.


SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE! :)

Ikhlas-ly,
Piping.

Sungkai at I-Lotus 2nd Sept 2010

Had a great night with the girls and khairi..especially the foods. its worth a buffet which only cost $16.80.. too bad 3 of us weren't there..Hope we can catch up soon all together:)

And we went to Jerudong after 2 hours of breaking our fast. Teehee..

Got this idea when Fifah request a photo ia main swing but nampak begarak..and after so many trials Iqin and Fifah had to switch places in order to get a perfect 'F' hahaa...

Many more pictures can be seen arh my facebook album:)

Random sungkai

Everything was so spontaneous. It wasn't planned at all. Five of us went to Seasons for buffet sungkai, $23 per head. It was worth it. Ada bruneian sushi, eg BUBOK MAKI! Mcm.. amazing jua tu, nyaman lagi tu makanan-makanan di sana! Was so full, could barely move, well, them anyway HAHAHA. Pictures taken by Nazirul Syarqawi. & he was also the transport provider, kerita Sorento Kia baru kaliahhh HAHA thank you Nazirul! :D

We're are vainers... -ish. HAHA

Just a random nightout with them FnVs, though not everyone... Picked some of these random picstures taken by our very own photographer, Nurmaziyyah Raziqin :D & I just thought this should be a kickstart to everyone. Last picture, sorry ahh vampire, hidungnya arah poster atu too big & ive got an umbrella.. Sooo HAHAHHAHA that was the outcome!

& sorry gambar kami posing saja HAHAHHAHA. It was late and nda ramai org, so whayyyy not? We're capable anywayy HEWHEWHEW ooopz!






Hope this helps! O2 PUMP!
xxx
Piping <3

Just because..

Just because she makes fun of herself, doesn’t mean she’s completely comfortable with herself.

Just because she walks alone to class, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any friends.

"Just because people talk about her, doesn’t mean she likes it.

Just because she laughs all the time, doesn’t make her annoying.

Just because she gets a lot of attention, doesn’t mean she is an attention freak.

Just because she gets things from her parents, doesn’t mean she is a spoiled brat.

Just because she is a daydreamer, doesn’t mean she never pays attention.

Just because she jokes around all the time, doesn’t mean she can’t be taken seriously.

Just because she smiles all the time, doesn’t mean she’s happy.

Just because she’s quiet sometimes, doesn’t mean she is sad.

Just because she tries her hardest, doesn’t mean its gonna pay off.

Just because she is called names for saying something dumb or being annoying, doesn’t mean she can keep taking it."


xxx :)

Hye guyss. i miss writing on this blog. its been ages! well, actually i miss kamu bt sadly no news, no updates from u guys, just sad.. bt to zati n naj, i'll reply u guys soon coz im hving my exam today.. me and spore, so far so good.. bruneianss here supeeerrr nice and they help me alot. it is just tiring here, study study and study.. dats all i noe to do from i open my eyes till i close it agen. here being independent is me. im doing it.


bah i gt to go.. plan to write more bt nantilaaa.. plss update me.

Jokes.

Let's have a knock knock joke! :D

*Knock knock*
Who's there?
Disappointment.

....

Yeah that wasnt even funny. Apologies. It's just that it's been several times that it comes knocking on my door lately, I don't have, or to be exact can't be bothered to fix things anymore. One by one things just keep changing direction, right or left, and ended up going straight on. I'm tired and can't be effed up to put up with all these crap to be honest.

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

But finding who's worth suffering for is extremely difficult, and I'm sure I'll just end up having thousand black cats (and I don't even fancy them!) when I'm old in a shaky house.

xx

You see the sun comes shining through.

You know that feeling? That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place, not because it's right, but because it will mean such a thing is possible.

I want to believe that.

Yessss, you might have heard of the quote above. Don't you think that it's true? :) Well I personally think it is.

I've been wondering.. No one blogs anymore. Why? Is it because we are just a little bit too busy to spend time and life's been occupied with something else? Or just merely too lazy or having a bloggers' block? Everything lies in you. Im just saying this cause i miss reading things that used to make me laugh, cry and smile, all at the same time.

I know, talk about complexity ;)

Someone told me to smile, so you should too! You'll get by!

xxxx
'AO

A lil bit of my 19th

Hi! :D It's been a while.. and bekulat-kulat sudah blog ani, no one writes in it anymore.. I don't know why. Macam tempat curahan hatiku tah pulang HAHAHAHA. Neway here are some pictures on my 19th birthday..



BIG BIG thank you to Hajah Amalina Haji Yahya and Nuraimi Mahirah Ismail for organising a birthday suprise for me.. Inda disangka2.. I was in the room becerita2 with sadrina, and then hajah suruh turun ke bawah cos katanya sabri minta highlighters.. i was reluctant at first, but i did go in the end and i was bringing three different coloured higlighters for God's sake! HAHAH bimbo wah drg atu.. masa kana suprise, myhands (together with the three highlighters) were shaking! HAHA! but it was a fun day! :)

Durang inda tau what i want for my birthday, so they thought of something as my hadiah, that is put ribbons on all the guys' head! HAHA can you guys spot the ribbons? Manis ahhh. and i was holding the cawan yang berlabel "AMAH" given by Sabri and Farid.. and the hoodie and the seluar, given by both of them jua plus si Hajah. The seluar ha "DRAMA QUEEN" all over it. HAHAHHA! i wonder whyyyy :p

Just posting this up pasal kan menjeleskan si Pong.. Though now nada lagi. Toldja i'll let go. SAYU. HAHAHAHA. here you go. cheers naz! :p

One of the people i love. Cause i would be of less happy without all of you.

A THOUSAND HUGS. :D

'Afifah O <3

It’s been so long since the last time of our encounter.

That decision was made not so long ago. But it seems so long just like an abandoned room, covered with dusts –accumulating. Empty with no sound nor vibrations and the mounting dust became the barrier. The radiance disappearing, in the other hand darkness appears.

The wind has come together with a storm. Regularly that it weakens the pillars that were once so strong. One by one they collapse; the last one was the only hope. Weaker and weaker by the days, no longer there was hope.

Once meaningful has become memoirs. Cherish the past without regrets. Build a new one with greater hope. Use metal instead of sand. Make it stronger than the one before.

At the end, no longer can you obstruct; a barricade of courageous-pride.

Dedicated to my heart.

Graduasi

Assalamualaikum.

Selamat hari belated graduasi! :D the pictures I saw are heartbreaking pasal aku jeles liat kamu graduate and aku nada sama kamu but nevertheless, I feel happy for you all. How we were all small girls who now have matured and ready to embark on our next path. Remember those hardships in our life are those things that shape us as individuals and I am sure we all (hopefully) are able to decide what's best and what's not.

I don't like not doing anything, cause that will end up me thinking, a little bit TOO much. How everything is so related in this world, when you find yourself insignificant and then someone tells you that you play a major part in their life? And how in some other case, someone, you know for sure, will never, EVER, be, even a dot in you life.

You lot will always have my heart.

I need a vacation.

HAHAHAHHAA.

And i choose Brunei. CAN CAN? ;)

xxxxxxxxxxxx (infinity!)

'Afifah O

ps: Naj, it is of your own effort that you are able to think it through. (:

Love Letter

Dear FnV-ians.. Today will be our graduation day. Its weird now that im typing this post, my mind is just went blank. The stuffs that i want to talk about are all gone now. so forgive me for making this crappy post.

4 years (or more for some) spending with each and every one of you is such a fortunate thing that happened to me. I know that i might not be the right friend for you all. I have too many imperfections to be your friend but i thank you all for accepting (even if its a half-heartedly) me to your everyday school life. To be honest, there are times when i feel this insecurities where i just don't belong on the same level as you all. There are times when i feel left out. There are times when i feel that i'm invisible in the group. There are times that i actually want to get out from this group and back to my pathetic lonely life. But somehow, i just can't and i don't know why. Its like theres this magnet that keeps on attracting me to not do something that i'll regret in the future. But what i'm afraid right now is the future. and thus, i would like to take this opportunity to say a few things which might be the last.

To Afifah, there's nothing much that i can say right now. But you are the reason why im still here. Your words of advice have taught me alot. and i thank you for that.

To Qayah, you are a very good friend. A good listener especially. To not spend a lot of time with you in 2009 is a bummer. But i have to understand that you have other friends and that you want to spend with them.

To Fyqa, We encounter quite a lot these past two years. the ups and downs.. thank you for always being there for me whenever i need help.

To Ekin, I've shared some things with you especially with fifah around. But when she's not around, i just feel that you are too far to be reached. i don't know what you're thinking about. And i just want to know more about you but somehow its just a difficult path.

To Zaty, Rather than saying thank you, i would like to ask for forgiveness instead. I think i've done a lot that might hurt you or just simply make you dislike me. My harsh words, my harsh attitude.. I think i went too far without realising it. And so i apologise. But thank you for being a good friend.

To Pong, I'm sorry if my teasing/jokes were a bit harsh. In my mind you are someone who i can easily bully due to your bimboness. So who knows that it might be hurtful. But you are someone who i always expecting everyday in school last year. you and your bimboness always cheer me up esp in GP class and for that i thank you.

To Dal, I'm glad that we were closer last year. I get to know you much better and i thank you for the willingness to share your personal stories to me. It really means a lot to me. I'm sorry that i couldn't be there for you whenever or wherever although i wish i could do so.

To Amoy, I know too little about you.

To Zatul, I know for quite a while but its sad that i know too little about you. Your case is the same like Ekin. I don't know what you're thinking and you are just too far to be reached.

To Sam, I'm sorry for taking advantage of you last year. You and your videos. I just can't find a way to stop my temptation from asking the videos from you. Sorry sebab banyak menyusahkan. Ohh kau cute..!! haha. Although you are the quietest among us, but i'm glad that we could be closer last year. We might not be sharing our stories tgether, but knowing you the way you are right now is satisfying enough for me.

To Faj, You are a good friend. Knowing you and seeing you ever since primary school is quite an amazing journey for me. I'm sorry however that i dont know what to say here.

To Sad, I need to know more about you.


There you go.. This is only a summary though. it would be a super duper long post if i were to write a long message to all of you. I have a favour to ask.. Whatever happens in the future.., if i were to be gone, please remember me. just remember my name and it'll be good enough. With all the insecurities that i have, as much as i wanted to hate you guys, i refused to do so cause in 20 or 30 years time, i don't want to remember that i hate you people. Crappy much..? heehhh.

To the FnV brunei, Its our graduation today. Lets put all the negative things aside for now and simply enjoy the day. Although you people might read this after the graduation. For once, i want to spend the time with you guys like we are a family - not just as a group.

Last but not least.., CONGRATULATIONS..!! We have come this far and now its time to celebrate it. Hope you all have a blast later on.


With love,
Nudge :)