Peterpan syndromme.

Salam.

Tomorrow marks the first of September. Which means, i have 19 more days here in Brunei. Part of me is excited to start decorating my new house in Nottingham, meeting new people, and embarking on the third year journey.

Another part of me is scared. Third year means shit just got a little bit too real now. It's going to be my dissertation year. I will not have any holidays in December, and apparently my family plus cuzzies etc etc are planning to go to Dubai. Guhhreat. Just great. And in summer, i will only have two weeks worth of holidays. Really med school, really? I just kept thinking, should i even go back for that short period of time.

I honestly do not know.

Last night i was feeling weird. Like, as if i have lost something. I kept searching for that something, and obviously to no avail, because i do not know what i was searching for. I thought maybe i was craving for something, but i really did not feel like eating, at all.

Anyways, last week, i was at my cousin's open house, and epicly, my cousin kana risik. Which means she's going to be engaged soon. It felt really weird. Considering she's one of my cousin yang dangan bemain masa damit. And now that she had got a proper job and soon to be engaged, is just weird. Because it means she's all grown up.

Which means i'm all grown up.

Sometimes i feel like Peterpan. I never want to grow up.

But growing up is inevitable, so i should welcome it, with open arms. I guess........

"We all want to grow up. We're desperate to get there. Grab all the opportunities we can to live. We're so busy trying to get out of that mess, we don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there. Really freaking cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we're standing there alone" - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy.